Wide Awake and Dreaming

Even 13 years after his passing, my friend Brian’s spirit continues to remind me of the hope that is in the world. His love for life was contagious and his passion for music was beautiful to witness. Some of my favorite memories of him were when we didn’t have any plans which was most of the Read More

Share Your Story

I walked 2 miles on Tuesday last week. TWO whole miles. For my amazing running friends who run 40 miles a day, do 500,000 mile marathons, triathlons, and run-15-hours-through-mud-athons every weekend, I know this sounds like the warm-up before your warm-up. But for me… it has been years since I could do it. Years. In the past, Read More

The Fairy Dance

I’m not sure when it all began, but sometime around the “age of losing teeth” for my oldest, I had an idea to write notes from the tooth fairy along with the usual dollar or trinkets she received for each tooth. Ryan became Chloe’s fairy somehow, even though we took turns many nights for the Read More

The Thief of Joy

A snapshot. A moment. A day of digging for roly-polies and frogs coming to a close. Her little hand opened inside of mine, holding a caterpillar. Dirt under her nails, wispy blond hair falling in her eyes, the smell of sunshine on her face. An excited sister holding a box of dirt and bugs behind Read More

Letters to Mommy

This post is really for me… a visual reminder that will be here when I need it most. I want to read this over and over on those days when I just don’t know how much longer I can keep living in pain, for those days when I can’t seem to do anything right, or Read More

Conscious Coupling

So one of the “longest” marriages in Hollywood is over. Infidelity? Irreconcilable differences? Fighting? Nope. Nothing. There’s no reason. They are referring to it as “consciously uncoupling.”  I don’t know what that means but it sounds better than “divorce,” I guess. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin married the same year Ryan and I did (’03) Read More

Grey Matters

I don’t know how to explain the chronic diseased life. There are only so many words and I think I have used them all. When it comes to living a half-lived life, words fail. This type of disease is tricky. It is confusing since there is quite a bit of false information out there and Read More

To the Beautiful Anonymous…

I stumbled onto this quote the other day from a blog post that was about helping loved ones who are depressed, but I think the information can apply for those who are chronically ill, as well. And, let’s be honest. Being sick for the long term can cause serious depression. These words really hit home Read More

The Blessing of Pain

Can I just tell you something? Pain is humbling. Pain is hard. Pain is exhausting. Pain is a blessing.   …whaaat? Yes. You read that right. It doesn’t feel like it when you’re in the middle of it, but pain is a beautiful gift. I read a book in high school that had a profound Read More

Don’t Miss It

I love EVERYTHING about Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday. I prepare for Christmas morning like a child. I get wrapped up in the excitement, the decorations and the giving. In the past I have gotten caught up in things that didn’t really matter. I quickly moved right through my favorite season without really being in Read More

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